My Aunt Peggy

My head is kind of reeling today. Sometimes things happen that are just so difficult to process. How can someone you love so very much be speaking with you in the grocery store one day, excited about a trip you’re planning together, sitting at your kitchen table reminiscing old times and shared love, laughing and sharing funny stories

 ...and just days later...

They are gone.
And with them...a part of your heart.

I never had the great honor of knowing my grandparents and since becoming a grandmother myself, I’m especially sad about that. Nobody loves like a grandmother!

But God has a way of filling in the gaps...always!

And for me, it was through my Aunt Peggy.

Peggy was expecting at the same time that my Mama was carrying me. Their babies were due at the same time, in September. But Aunt Peggy had twins and they came early, in July; Deborah and Diana. Diana didn’t survive. Debbie had CP and was mentally handicapped as well.

My Aunt Peggy sorta took me on as her other special daughter.

As a child, I used to go and spend days or weeks at a time at her house in Stevenson. I remember sitting at the piano with her, learning to play those little duets like “Chopsticks” and “Heart and Soul.”

She baked cookies with me and let me walk into town and buy candy at the local drug store.

One of the greatest things she did for me was to encourage the love I already had inborn in me for horses. She had a beautiful horse named “Lady.” I might have begged to go see Aunt Peggy so often purely because it made me so excited to get to see that horse! 🐎

Years later, the love of horses that Aunt Peggy helped instill in me would end up being the best therapy I could ever have had through some of my own darkest days.

I remember having a tummy ache several times when I was at her house and she’d cook me up a “hot tottie” made from Uncle Leon’s whiskey. Worked every. Single. Time. I credit her for the fact that I have never in my life wanted to touch my tongue with liquor unless I absolutely had to! 😝

My Aunt Peggy was funny! Of the six Tcherneshoff children, she was most certainly the most mischievous!

I told her recently that I’d watched her walk on water all her life! She did that because her eyes were fixed on Jesus!

Last night, Jesus took her home. LORD.... I have no doubt whatsoever that if folks ever have to “put their nose on the wall” in heaven, she and my Mama are already there! 😂😂

I’m so thrilled that Peggy is seeing the LORD that she loves with all her heart!
I’m thankful that she’s seeing her Debbie and Diana... WHOLE! 🙌🏻🙌🏻💝💝 😭😭😭
I’m thankful that she’s getting a chance to get to know her daddy, who died before she ever really knew him.

I’m thankful for the part that she played in making me who I am.
I’m thankful that I got to feed her some homemade chicken and dumplings, one of her favorite meals, and tell her all the things I’ve just told you before she left. I’m thankful that I got to hold her close and kiss her forehead long and fervently and whisper my eternal love for her. I’m thankful that I got to tell her “thank you” while she was alert enough to understand!

I’m so thankful for JESUS and for eternal life given freely to crazy ole sinners who love Him!
Gah... I miss you, Aunt Peggy! You and Mama...
BEHAVE! 😉😇😇

Bibby’s Blessings/ Extravagant Love

Bibby’s Blessings
Christmas 2018

My most beloved ones,

Christmas...
Being with our people...
Giving extravagantly...
Treasuring up precious moments in our hearts...

As I’ve busied myself around the kitchen all day long, listening to Christmas music and bossing your Dad around, I’ve been filled with so much love and anticipation of being with my treasures tomorrow...

And those thoughts led me to remember how God instructed Moses to build a tabernacle, just for the purpose of coming down to BE with His people...

And His eternal desire to give to those He loved....
To defy every law of the universe just to be with them.

And so He came...
In those days in the form of fire...
Hovering over the most holy place...
... the “Shekinah glory of God!”

For over 500 years, the pillar of cloud was there every day and a pillar of fire was there every night...

But the time came when that glory departed...
The people began to think they could just USE God for their own selfish purposes...
And honor him with lip service but not with their hearts.

Dad and I stood on the very ground where that tabernacle stood in Shiloh; on the ground where the shekinah glory hovered....

The place where Samuel heard God calling; the place where Ichabod was born (meaning, the glory has departed)

Later the flaming glory of God came to Solomon’s Temple...
Once more, the people’s hearts were divided.
The kingdom fell...
The glory never again to be seen...

Until...
One ordinary night...
“...the heavens exploded..
With music everywhere,
And the angels spilled over heaven’s edge
And filled the air....”

The fire of His presence; the Light of the World had returned!

And on the eighth day, the Glory of God once again...
entered the Temple...
In the arms of a virgin girl.

The sunshine of His Father’s life...

The light of the whole world...

With His people.

Unspeakable JOY will be felt in your homes tomorrow morning as you experience the joy of giving extravagantly!

Know as you put your sweet heads on your pillow tonight...

That YOU are the reason that the Light returned!!
To give to you and to your offspring...

A gift.
A very.
extravagant,
Costly...
gift!

Eternal life...
With Him!

May your love for Him be more than a child’s love of Santa...
May it be fervent...
Extravagant ...
visible in all your actions;
may it be a flame within you that burns it’s way into your demeanor and shines there in such a way that none would ever doubt where your allegiance is!
May the fire of your love for Him reach into your babies hearts and spark a flame! May you carry the torch of fervent love for Him...

Until He returns again!

Merry Christmas, my darlings!

Ouch! And Thank You!

Bibby’s Blessings
November 12, 2018

OUCH! AND THANK YOU!

“Moreover the LORD your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, so that you may love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, so that you may live.” Deuteronomy 30:6

What’s that all about?
Simply put, circumcision was a new thing back in Abraham’s day. God asked him to cut the flesh from the dearest place; the place of a man’s paternity. 😳
It was a way of identifying all that came from that place as belonging to HIM. Other men/children who were not Jews were not circumcised because they, nor their seed were HIS! (Pretty poignant picture, huh?)

In this verse, He just goes ahead and explains His ultimate, future intention...which is to cut from our HEARTS that which is dearest to us;dearer than HIM! For if our hearts were not circumcised, we would not be His!

Circumcision is painful; whether physically or spiritually.

But look at the reason! So that you may LOVE the LORD your God with everything you’ve got; first in your heart; dearer than all else! For then you will truly know what it means to LIVE with goals and a purpose that outlives this life!

God is a jealous God! He won’t allow us, if we are truly His own to love anything else more than we love Him. I don’t blame Him for that! We’re all pretty protective of what belongs to us!He will remove whatever it is that distracts us from whole hearted devotion to Him because He’s GOD and He can do that whether we want Him to or not!

We can make it difficult by kicking and screaming and thrashing at the process. Or we can see it for what it is, submit, and say “thank you.”

Does all that comes from your heart belong to Him? Can the world identify you as His?

They can if YOUR heart has been circumcised!

Your mother is praying....

SIXTY YEARS OF ENOUGH

September 20, 2018

Today I started my 7th decade, as my dear man reminded me. Thanks a lot for that, my love! 😕 WOW! What a journey it’s been! 60 years!

The months leading up to this day have been the hardest of all my anticipated birthday’s! Good flippin grief....

I dreaded it!!!!

I’ve never been real good with change...
But this change...THIS is a milestone if ever there was one.

I always tend to cry a little about milestones, whether good or bad, do you? They are just a turning of the page, the beginning of a new chapter, leaving the last one behind.......
and that’s just hard on a heart!

I suppose I’ve sort of hung on for dear life to middle age for as long as one can, even if I was on the very back end of it...
As a dirty old man once said, “People don’t live to be 120!”

Gonna have to let that illusion go, girl!
Cause we’re talking “SENIOR” now! I AM A SENIOR CITIZEN, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
How on God’s green earth that happened so fast, I DO NOT KNOW!

So....one day when I was driving and musing on what’s coming, a thought comes to me....
“Well, Bonnie....What age would you like to go back to?”
Didn’t even have to think about it....
OH HECK NO!!! I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK!! PLEASE NO!!!

Since then, I’ve been trying to figure out WHY NOT?

So I had a little talk with Blake about it last night. He’s always so good at helping me put reason to my feelings.

He said, “Most every stage of our lives, especially our adult lives, is HARD! It’s like we’ve pushed a boulder up a mountain. Old age is getting it almost to the top. Letting it slide back down and doing it all over again....WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO DO THAT?”

Yes, you can be jealous that I have such a smart man...but sorry....he’s stuck on me like glue.

And then You spoke to me, Lord, and You reminded me that Your Word constantly refers to life as a race.

“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”

“They will run and not be weary.”

“I run the path of Your commands.”

“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run but only one receives the prize? Therefore run like you want to win.”

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

YEP! I’ve run a loooong way now! I don’t wanta start over!

So I reminisced over each lap...

The first leg of my race started out difficult to put it mildly.

I wouldn’t change those childhood years for anything on this earth because they helped to shape my heart and purpose into what it was meant to be...

But nope....Don’t want to relive it!

You were my Daddy then.
AND YOU WERE ENOUGH!

My teenage years were pretty darn sweet in so many ways-Still so tumultuous at home but You, Lord, gave me so many people to fill the gaps....
Jimmy Gunter,
Deanna Bennett,
John Thompson,
And friends, Lord, who are still some of my very best friends to this day....
All who loved me like nobody’s business, who believed in me and urged me onward.
And THERE WAS YOU, LORD...YOU WERE THERE;
My Provider,
My friend,
My stability...
AND YOU WERE ENOUGH!

I cherish those memories and those people but,shoot NO!  I would not want to stay there in that season.....
because there was SO MUCH MORE to come!

OH! The college years!! Those were fun and crazy and somewhere in the process, I actually learned something that would prepare me for my calling to teach...

Tight friendships were forged there that remain my treasures to this day.
There was ‘Doc’ Richardson who taught me, loved me, believed in me, fussed at me, and sharpened me....
Ohhh the memories!

And there was Jack. I’d never loved like that...

And I let him go...

Because You said so! No other reason.

That was a defining moment for me...

I knew then that I truly loved YOU more than I loved anyone; more than I loved myself.

And right there....was YOU!

You were my portion,
You were my everything,
You were my Love;
My Sustainer.
AND YOU WERE ENOUGH!

But, Lord, NO!! I don’t want a redo of that!

There were the early years of marriage...
Let me just say, thank GOD those are behind us; and thank GOD they eventually got better!

You were my husband then.
AND YOU WERE ENOUGH!

And the baby years!!!
OHHHHH!!! Sweetest years of my life....
I was alone then....so very alone!

Except that You were there. You were my cheerleader then.
AND YOU WERE ENOUGH!

Like sand that ran through my fingers, before I could get a grasp, the kids had grown up and left home.

And BAM! THEY STARTED REPRODUCING LIKE RABBITS!

I’m still trying to decide if I loved them as much as I love the little “thems” that they and You created.
Oh Lord!!! Surely THIS must be the sweetest season of my life!!

OF COURSE I WOULD NOT GO BACK! HECK NO!!
In this season of my life, You are my Rewarder!!
AND YOU ARE DARN SURE ENOUGH!!

“Adulting” IS a race!

Today....I realize that if I keep running, there won’t be a whole lot more laps to run until I can see the finish line!
I’m SO EXCITED for the rest of the journey!
Let’s do this last leg FULL THROTTLE!
Because in just a few more rounds, the race will be over, I will run into Your arms....

And I’ll be HOME!

And I will know with all my heart...
That through EVERY season...
YOU WERE WORTH IT!

YOU ARE NOW,
YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN,
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE....

ENOUGH!

The Horse and the Cart

If I could only have taught my kids and grandkids ONE thing in their entire lives, I think it would be this...

Jeremiah 9:23-24
"This is what the LORD says: 'Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to KNOW ME...’”

What if the grade we will receive from God is based:

NOT on our church attendance
NOT on how passionately and uprightly and excellently we did what we've been created to do
NOT on how many mission trips we went on or our service in the church
NOT on how friendly we are to all people
NOT on how much money we give to the church or others
NOT on all the kind things we did for others
NOT on how morally we lived
NOT on how well we knew the Bible
NOT on how much we did to serve and better our community
NOT on what kind of spouse or parent we are
NOT on the number of ways we reached out to the less fortunate
NOT on how well respected we are

But on this:
The importance we placed on KNOWING Him...Intimately!

Contrary to popular opinion, He didn't die to make us nice people.

He didn't die to get Himself some servants. He's pretty self sufficient!

HE DIED TO MAKE YOU HIS!

And as His, there's nothing that you will ever do that will please Him more than having an intimate, one on one, sweet love relationship with Him.
Closer than with any other on earth.

And there's nothing that would break His heart more than for you to do all the rest but have little to no desire to invest your life in knowing Him.

Did you know that He loves YOU more than ALL the stuff you do? He just wants YOU! He wants your heart. He wants you to become more and more responsive to the way He loves you. That thrills Him just like it thrills your heart for your children to do the same!

All that other stuff will happen...but it will happen as naturally as breathing when we deeply know Him!

ALWAYS remember this:
The horse pulls the cart...NEVER the cart before the horse!

Get this ONE thing right and see if everything else in your life doesn’t fall right into place! Cross my heart! ✝️❤️

THAT’S HOME

Twenty nine years ago, my man and I gave a notebook full of pictures and pages of ideas to an architect to design our dream home. 

We built high atop a hill surrounded by mountains and a breathtaking view on every side. We planted little willow oaks to line the long, winding driveway, and a barn to house the horses that I loved so much.

We raised our three children in this home, along with several orphaned boys.

And somewhere in the process...

Life happened....

Everything grew and aged.

The trees became a tunnel up the drive, the landscape matured, and the wall inside my kitchen pantry kept careful records year after year as some very loved little lives grew into mature adults.

These walls stored up so many memories, welcomed so many friends, hosted so many events, “heard” so many prayers and so much laughter. They felt the slap of so many dirty hands as young teenage boys competed for the #1 high jump position. 

I suppose that there’s hardly a square inch of the woods and hills surrounding our home that didn’t feel the footprints of a teenager, or the hoof prints of a horse, or the tires of a dirt bike or four wheeler. 

Five boys and one blessed little girl, together with dogs and chickens and rabbits, and who knows how many other species of God’s creatures experienced life in all its glory...

Right here...

And the years flew.

The walls hear mostly silence these days; or the sounds of the hymns that a mother loves best, and the soft conversations of the aging parents who are left here. 

But imbedded within every wall, and deep beneath every inch of soil lie the roots which have weaved their way into every fiber of our being; roots that will never die because they are and have always found their source in living water; roots that gave life and grew branches that took wings.

Yesterday, the question, “What makes you feel like you are truly home?” was posted in a very beautiful lady’s blog, along with the song, “North,” by the group, "Laughing Out Loud."

The lyrics of the last verse got a choke hold on my heart.

“Smaller than dust on this map

Lies the greatest thing we have:

The dirt in which our roots have grown

And the right to call it home.”

Yes, I suppose if one is asked what makes us feel truly home, we need only find our roots. And when we do....

THAT’S HOME....

That’s how you’ll know you are truly home. 

Are You Listening?

Bibby’s Blessings
August 10, 2018

ARE YOU LISTENING?

“From his temple he heard my voice ; my cry came before him, into his ears.” Psalm 18:6

“But they did not listen to me....” Jeremiah 7:26

How sad is that?
Hearing....
But not being heard.

I suppose it happens to God all day long every day!

Listening.....

It’s so seriously God-like! He’s so good at it! It’s a virtue that people who best reflect God are also good at!

As I meditated on these verses today, I asked myself some questions to assess why I or God or anyone else desires to be heard, and to assess my own listening skills. For how can we truly listen to a God, whom we cannot see, if we’re poor at listening to people whose voices we hear every day?

I thought I’d share these with you in case you’d like to ponder them with me:


1. How important is it to you to feel that when you speak, the person(s) you are speaking to are really hearing you? If they are not, what does this imply?
2. When others speak to you, do they feel that you are really hearing them? If not, what do you think they feel?
3. When others speak to you, do you too quickly answer back with your own ideas, your own answers, your own experiences, removing the focus from their heart to yours? Do you suppose we do that to God when He’s trying to reveal His heart to us?
4. Are you willing to genuinely take a look at yourself in this area, without assessing anyone else but yourself?

I cannot even begin to express how important it is as you raise your children to truly know God that you teach them this Godly virtue by example!

They may learn to listen to God by following the example of how you listen to God AND to others.

I plan to ask a few people, “How well do you feel that I listen when you speak?”

Then... I’m going to LISTEN to their answer...
Because...

“Being heard is so close to being loved that they are almost indistinguishable.”  David Augsburger