Resurrection Day!

Master, As I sit at your feet this morning, I am broken. One of the greatest blessings you ever gave to my life just slipped through my fingers, and no matter how I want it back, it is gone. I feel such a hole in my heart, a vacancy with a sign over it, "Unable to be filled." I cannot relive what was. The years, the days, the moments left me with memories but the substance lies buried beneath the soil. I MISS HIM!!!! I drove down the drive yesterday and the pasture was empty and I ached. I cried but my tears did not cause him to reappear. My heart is broken for David. I didn't know how having the responsibility for burying Rocky would affect him. I sat with Rocky in his stall until David had dug out the place where he would be buried underneath the most beautiful oak in the pasture. Then he made me leave. I was thinking so much about Rocky that I forgot to think about David. But he spilled his heart to me last night and I ached for him, although, to be honest, I would still not have wanted anyone else to do the job and neither would he. He said, "Sometimes it's just very hard to do a man's job." While I was thanking God so much that He gave me a man child who was capable of such things, I guess I forgot that this man child also has a heart! David said that though he has buried other horses before, this was just not in any way the same. He can hardly remember life when Rocky was not there. He wanted to show the utmost respect for Rocky and it just felt so wrong to lay his body in a grave. He said it took him forever to adjust Rocky's 1000 lb. body to a postion where he looked comfortable. It felt so wrong to cover him with dirt. It wrenched his precious heart. He knew it was just a shell now, but it was the body he had loved for so long, and it just hurt! He said his thought was, "Someday, this will be me!" There is just nothing right about death. Romans 8 comforts me. "Against it's will, all creation was subjected to God's curse. But with eager hope, the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God's children in the glorious freedom from death and decay..." God's creation and God's children.... And so....the entire created world is in bondage to death and decay and that is the reality of life. But, thanks be to God, who became accursed for us, took on death, and conquered it!!!! Thanks be to God for Resurrection Day! Thanks be to God that all Your creation will someday be released from the curse of death and will join God's children in resurrection to eternal life!! Thanks be to God that, because He lives, all His creation will live again! Dat's what da Bible say! Uh huh!!! (I'm smiling now!!!) :-) "Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of JOY comes in the morning!!!" Ps. 30:5

To Rocky, With Love

It was love at first sight for me. And maybe it's just because I want to believe it, but I think it might have been the same for you as well. I know it sounds strange, but I think God made us for each other. My friend, Farley, had told me about you. Ray Ramage owned you then, but, being the huge-hearted man that he is, he recognized your incredible worth and knew that someone needed to have you who would have more time to ride you and care for you. It was on that day when Farley took me to the Everett's farm where you lived, that one of the most beautiful love stories began between a girl and her beloved horse. I remember Farley leaping up on your back from behind without so much as a piece of twine around your neck, riding you all over that pasture, guiding you with your mane! You never flinched. I'd never seen anything like you in my life! You were beautiful, Rocky! You were huge, a bay quarterhorse with a slick and shiny coat....and CUT!! You were young and yet, even at that time, you had the demeanor of an old and mellowed man. Ray told me to keep you for a few months and try you out. If it worked, fine. If not, he would not be disappointed. He loved you. So...we boarded you at a friend's farm and went to see you, ride you, and feed you every day. You were the most amazing horse that ever lived. From day one, every single one of us had no fear of you whatsoever. You never had a mean bone in your body. I don't know if you ever figured this out or not, Rocky, but other horses don't act like you. Some things spook other horses and they react; but not you! Other horses act like ANIMALS, for gosh sakes; but not you! It was as if you were just a heart, surrounded by gorgeous horse flesh! After knowing you for 25 years, I know without a doubt that this is exactly what you were. I don't think you particularly liked being on that farm, although you never really let on. You were one of SO MANY, and they were ANIMALS! They fought and kicked one another and so you just did your sweet best to just lay low and stay out of their way. (Although, you were certainly capable of holding your own when put to the test!) I have to laugh now about the whole thing when I think how close I could have come to missing out on one of the greatest blessings of my life. Ray wanted $1000.00 for you, and Cynthia, being the most wonderfully frugal woman I know, told me not to give $1000.00 for that horse! "He's not worth it", she said!! And You weren't worth that, Rocky! Not at all! Not even close! If only the truth had been fully known, Ray would have asked for my soul! That might have come somewhere close to how valuable you were. Not quite, but somewhere in the neighborhood. No price tag can be put on what you have meant to me, Rocky! Then came the day when Blake told me that I could have one of two things; living room furniture for our new house or a home for you. That was EASY! And so, we built you this home. We built it for you, Rocky! A bazillion horses have shared this pasture with you, but this barn was built for you and it will always be yours! And so it was thatin some of these surrounding woods, on some of these roads and trails, that you, my friend saw me through some of the roughest seasons of my life. I don't mean to be sacriligious, but Rocky, in many ways, on many days, you were my salvation. You were a balm for every wound. When I was sad, or confused, or depressed, I came to you. And you rode me away. And somehow, when I was on your back with the wind on my face and blowing through my hair, my spirit felt as if it were lifted from my body, and it soared to a higher place where joy engulfed me. I can't describe it, but I think you knew. It almost seemed that we were one in our spirits and that your spirit was also being lifted to somewhere in the stratosphere as you cut loose and ran like the wind. I'm not sure if the world is a safe enough place anymore to explore the places that you and I went, but the point is; I was never afraid when I was with you. NEVER! Although we always had many other horses to come and go, none have ever been to us what you were. Of course, you knew that. Rocky, sometimes when people are extraordinarily good people, they are taken advantage of. Horses too, I suppose. No matter which of the other horses were getting a saddle thrown on their back and a bit put in their mouth, you were NEVER left out!! We could put a baby or a toddler or an old man or woman on you with never a fear! Or we could put an experienced rider on you for the ride of their lives. It's no wonder that every time you saw us coming, you high-tailed it! You rascal!!! I know you got tired of being the one to do all the giving. It's just that you were the best, Rocky! You were the most dependable. But surely you knew that you were also the most valued! Then the days turned to years and the years began to tell on you. The farrier says that we should probably stop riding you because of your arthritis. Ah ha! Getting old is not all bad, huh? And so, you lived out your days grazing and gracing our pasture with your incredible beauty. Today, you left us, Rocky. It was time; GOD'S time. You had lived for far longer than other horses do! And you were tired. I sensed it. But when you saw me this morning, though you were too tired to even lift your head from the ground, I honestly believe you really wanted to get up and eat! That's my boy!!!! I never saw a horse get more pleasure over meal time! I loved that about you! Pain will pierce all of our hearts every time we open that barn door and don't hear you holler. In every aspect, today was a day of miracles. I have always prayed that I would be with you when you breathed your last breath. In all the years past, every time you were sick, you wanted to put your head in my belly and press against me. You need my nearness. I could not bear the thought of not being there to hold you close to me when you left this world. And though I often stayed with you for hours on end, I could not live at the barn. So, miracle # 1. was that the angels took you 20 or 30 minutes after I walked into your stall this morning. And you went with your head close to my chest. Dr. Whetstone had told us this morning that we could give you some shots of B12 and steroids and possibly buy you a little more time. OR...he could do the other unthinkable option. I knew in my spirit that your life was depleted and that you were just too tired!!! When I reached the stall this morning, you were laying down, utterly unable to lift your head, though you tried so hard! Sweet, sweet Devin was with me and I thank the Lord so much, not only for Devin's emotional support, but because no one would believe the rest of the story unless I had a witness. You didn't seem to be suffering. You were just too tired to breathe and you were becoming restless as your breathing became harder and harder. I asked Devin what I should do and he said it wasn't his call, but that I needed to make a choice now! I told him to go ahead and call Dr. Whetstone, but the moment the words came from my mouth, I knew I could not do it! And so, right there, as I held your precious head to my breast, I prayed out loud over you. "God, If you have ever heard a single prayer I have prayed, please hear this one! PLEASE don't make me make this decision. This is your call, God, not mine! I believe that animals go to heaven and that Rocky will be the horse that I will ride back to this earth on. But right now, I need some confirmation. If what I have believed is true, then please send your angels for him and take him home now." The next part flys over my head, and if it were not for Devin confirming to me that he heard the same thing, I would chalk it up to my imagination. You spoke in a way that I have never heard your voice, sweet Rocky. Three distinct syllables...which uncannily sounded like, "I.....LOVE......YOU." Devin heard the same thing, and he is certainly not one to get sensational! At that moment, my dear Rocky, my soul was so knit to yours that it hardly seemed unusual. I told you that I knew that you loved me and that I loved you so much!!! I told you that I was going to be okay and that you should let go now. Then I saw the white of your beautiful eyes, you breathed a few more short breaths and the angels took you, just as I had prayed. Oddly enough, Devin and I found ourselves rejoicing! I could speak nothing but "Thank you, Jesus", over and over! Devin said he felt like he'd been to church! My tears will doubtless flow often. They will flow for many reasons; because I'm struggling to believe you're gone and I can hardly conceive of life without you, because I'm missing you; because I am aching to hear your hearty holler, because I am longing for the scent that is unique to you; (I am never going to wash the gloves I was wearing this morning!) but I think that I will weep mostly trying to grasp the grace and mercy that was shown to me when God gave the best horse He ever made to me! I have loved you with an everlasting love, Rocky. Thank you for loving me back. Thank you for giving me most of the years of your life. Thank you for being my therapist! Thank you for being a delight to my children and to the rest of the world that has known you. THANK YOU, OUR DEAR, DEAR ROCKY! Forever and ever! Your Mama "Then God said to Adam, 'Behold, I have given you....every living thing that moves on the face of the earth which has a living soul..." Gen. 1:30 "And I saw heaven opened; and behold a white horse, and He who sat upon it is called 'Faithful' and 'True'....."KING OF KING'S AND LORD OF LORD'S"... And the armies which are in heaven were following Him on white horses....." Rev. 19:11,14 And Bonnie's horse shall be called, "Rocky." AMEN!