They Say that Publishing a Book is like giving birth to an Elephant, only harder. We’ll see!

In her book, “ Because He Lives,” Gloria Gaither said, “Ultimately, writers write because they have no choice. Even if no one ever read or praised or bought her writing, a writer would have to write.” 

Most of what I’ve written or journaled or put to music will never be read by others. They were just words that bubbled up from my heart onto paper; passions that forced their way out by internal pressure that HAD to find expression! 

But for anyone who is interested, this is what’s going on with me now...

Some years ago, after what I consider the darkest period of my life, the Lord took me aside, away from the ministry I had done for years, and it was then that He taught me the deep, inner meaning of His covenant love; what it means to have a covenant partner who has my back always....whose love is merciful and unconditional and longs to show itself in acts of kindness...

Faithful love... love that is right there even when it has every reason not to be! 

It changed my life forever!

What it did to me could never in a million years have been contained! 

It began to flow out of my heart onto paper...

And it became a 12 week Bible study;

“Jesus, It was Always You; A Study of the Love of God as Revealed Through His Covenants.”

I began to teach it...

I’ve taught it to young people and women. Over 300 women have done the study now.

Every single time, the women tell me the same thing...

That it changed their lives just like it did mine; that every Christian should do this study. 

That’s why I’m going to a writers conference this week. I have appointments with two publishers. 

I have no earthly idea what I’m doing! I write! I don’t sell! 

Some of the publishers seem to want to publish folks who are fairly well known. I get that. But that I’m not.

Never in my life have I wanted to promote myself or anything I’ve done. But folks, I tell you with every fiber of my being that I KNOW where this study came from! It has NOTHING to do with me! NOTHING! He filled me up and it just bubbled out.

So... my opinion, and I reckon everybody’s got one, is that those publishers would be wise to take this thing! The fruit it’s borne speaks for itself! 

But hey, y’all!

It’s GOD’S and I’m GOD’S and He can do whatever He wants to with what is His. 

Having a book published will not make me a writer. I AM a writer! It would not validate me...

My covenant partner’s already done a fine job of that!

If my study is refused, it will not invalidate me.

I’m just a simple girl that is loved WAAAY BIG! 

So that’s the story....

And I’ll be back soon with “the rest of the story.” 

I Want This Witness!!!

"By faith, Enoch was taken up so that he should not see death; AND HE WAS NOT FOUND BECAUSE GOD TOOK HIM UP; for he obtained the witness that before his being taken up, he was pleasing to God.
And without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that HE IS and that He is a Rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." Heb. 11:5-6

Why on earth would I choose these verses as some of my favorites? I might have to say that this whole chapter is one of my favorites.

The folks in this chapter are the real deal; the creme de la creme, sold out, the whole route, the over the top that the world can't stop;
these folks are RADICALLY SAVED!
Not a wimpy one among them!

And they put me to utter shame!

They are written up in the "hall of faith" because they just trusted God; they believed Him even when it made absolutely no sense.
And that pleased God.

Whoa now...before you shake your head and wonder why God would "play games" with folks.
What do YOU want most from YOUR children? You want them to trust you, right? I mean, you've been around the block a few times. You know they won't always understand but "JUST TRUST ME," you say! It's not a game...it's LOVE!

My thing is that somewhere deep inside me.....I WANT TO BE AMONG THEIR NUMBER; one who proved my trust in Him by radical obedience; one that cared not what others thought, but cared deeply about lining up under HIS trustworthy command!

I, like Enoch, want to obtain the witness that I pleased God!

I want a 41st verse...
"By faith, Bonnie.....

Single Handed Savior

Someday I'm going to tell the entire story of my life...but until then, hear THIS loud and clear; JESUS CHRIST totally, unequivocally, without ANY question, completely, and single handedly SAVED MY LIFE!!! I am nothing short of a miracle of amazing grace and I will marvel until the day I die.....and then forever!
That.Is.All

Life’s Little Moments

One of "Bibby's Blessings" sent to my children:

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." Psalm 90:12

On our trip to Israel, we sat beside a family who had a little boy, about 3 yo I think. Both parents looked exhausted and preoccupied. As the plane ascended, the mother put her head on the headrest and closed her tired eyes, the dad took out a newspaper, and the little boy stared out the window.
As the plane went higher and higher, the child tried desperately to get the attention of his parents. "MOMMY!! DADDY!!!" he said several times....all to no avail. Both parents remaining oblivious, he finally blurted out his question to anyone who would hear him, " Is that the wooold ?"

His mommy and daddy missed it.

He was overcome with the fascination and wonder of seeing the "woooold" from a whole new perspective and they missed it.

It broke my heart for them bc they will never know what they missed.

Life is so full of little moments. My prayer for you, my beloved ones is that you, like the little boy will continue all your lives to be overcome with the wonders of life and that as much as is humanly possible, you will never miss the sweet moments that come and then are gone forever, only to live on in your memory.

The Old Toy Chest

⚠️ Long, sappy post!

Ok, so I’ve done a lot of these lately. Have mercy! I’m still stuck at home trying my darndest to recover from back surgery so let me do what I do... write! 🙏🏻

I’ve spent the afternoon cleaning out my boy’s rooms, mostly going through the old toy chest that has been stowed away in Jonathan’s closet all these years. (Well, that’s embarrassing !)

Every time Blake came in the room, I’d be sitting there boo-hooing, he’d tear up too, and I’d ask, “Why is all this stuff making me do this?”

“It’s just a lot of sweet memories,” he’d say as he left the room trying to hide that it was getting to him almost as much as it was to me.

Maybe I just miss those little rough neck boys.

Don’t get me wrong!!!!

I don’t want ‘em back! 😬

I wouldn’t trade who they are today for the whole wide world!

But I MIGHT almost give the world just to hold those baby boys and stroke their hair for just ONE little moment again!

You know what?

They never will know how much I loved them then....
Or how much I love them now...

And maybe that hurts a little bit...

Oh that they could REALLY know!!!

So, as I’m rummaging through that mess, y’all, I found link after link of that old snake skin they’ve had forever.

What’s so stupid is that I CANNOT throw it away!

I found caps they had on their noggin’s for what seems to me since the day they were born...

now, just......

hanging there.

I found an old softball that was so beat up from use, it was nearly black with all it’s “scars.”

I found a box of the model cars that David had meticulously built and painted when he was so young. I couldn’t help but think how normal that seemed to me then, but now....

I’m finding myself admiring that kid who loved spending his time doing such constructive things...

And thinking that I sure was blessed to get such a kid!

I found that old set of spurs that Jonathan wore in the Leon Leord oil portrait that hangs on my wall to this day. Sweet kid wore those things all the time!

I found “homework” that they’d done in our homeschool years....

Why was THAT in their TOY chest? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Wow! They sure were smart!

Oh!! And the Batman outfits....

And the guns...

And that old roped belt that Jonathan kept his holster on!

It seemed that everything I picked up made me smile with the thought, “I remember that thing!”

And I held them and soaked the memory of them into my soul for a moment...

And the tears flowed!

I thought about so many of you girls out there that have those growing babies still at home.

You don’t even know that someday you’ll be rummaging through the things that your kids are wearing or putting together or playing with right this second.

And your kids will be through with them...

And they’ll just be there...
With no one to love them anymore.

Except you will!

Oh how you will!!

Stop whatever you’re doing now and look...

NOTHING matters more!

Please don’t let one moment get lost in the whirlwind of life!

As I told my Ivey a few days ago, “Just stop....
You’ve got about 2 more minutes till they’re gone. I promise you it will seem that way!”

So drop whatever you have to and pay attention!

The minutes turn into hours...
The hours turn into days...
The days turn into years...

And in literally what will seem to you like 2 minutes, your house will be filled with boxes and closets full of memories and no one to love them...
but you....

Like only a Momma will ever understand.

I wish you as many memories as I have!

And I hope they’re just as sweet!

Bo Wilson

Let me tell y'all about my Bo.
He was a beautiful black lab with a big diamond of white on his neck. We got him as a pup soon after Jemima died.

Jemima was my protector. She'd just as soon bite you as look at you. I'm talking a defender of her territory! I'm pretty sure she saved us from an attempted break in one Christmas Eve when Blake wasn't home and somebody out there in a big blue van might have some scars to prove it. But that's another story...

Bo was in every way opposite of Jemima. From the day we got him as a pup, he had anxiety issues. I always thought he'd grow out of that when he learned how loved he was but he never did. That's why I wanted to name him "Wilson" after the one on "Home Improvement." You know....the guy that was always hiding behind the fence?

The kids wanted to name him Bo so I named him Bo Wilson. That's a pretty good name around FP, don't ya think? 😉

Turns out, my Bo probably wasn't the sharpest tack in the tool shed. He never ever learned to poop in the grass. Usually it was on the deck around the pool or one morning before my ladies Bible study, he left the ladies a big fat present right at the front door. 💩 "Howdy!"

The grandbabies loved "Bo Bo" as they called him. They loved to chase him and Bo loved to play hard to get.

When Hallie was a baby, she loved for me to tell her bedtime stories about how Bo Bo liked to water the bushes. 🙉🙈 I know, I'm a really cool grandmother, right? 😂😂😂

We had Bo for 13 years I think. He got old so fast....seems like he should still be a young thing!

Bo died yesterday, probably just of old age.

My tender, loving son, David came to bury him last evening. Because I'm unable to get out of bed, I didn't get to tell Bo goodbye but Blake came in afterwards with a most reflective look on his face.

He asked me, "Where in the Bible does it say, 'The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof?" That's Psalm 24, I told him. So he opened his Bible and began to read out loud. He wept as he read.

"What's up, honey?" I asked.

So he began to give me a play by play of the whole burial he'd just witnessed.

"David laid Bo in the front loader of the tractor and took him down to where he was going to bury him. He laid him down gently on the ground beside where he was about to start digging. Before he started, a big beautiful orange and black butterfly came and lit on Bo's nose. As David began, I thought surely that the butterfly would fly away but it didn't. It sat right there with its wings gently fluttering the entire 12-15 minutes or so that it took David to dig the grave. Never moved away."

"Are you kidding me," I asked!

"No! I kept looking around to see if there were any other butterflies anywhere around. None! Anywhere! I mean, the timing, the place where it lighted, everything about it was just so seemingly orchestrated!"

"Well then, David finished and got off the tractor to put Bo in the scoop and the butterfly flew away. He laid Bo down so softly in his grave and just as he did, the butterfly came back and lighted right where Bo's body had been, as if he were watching the burial. David began to scoop little bits of dirt at a time, slowly covering Bo's body and then packing it down. That butterfly stayed there for the whole entire thing."

Blake said he was thinking 3 things: 1. "The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof." "He even tells the butterflies where to land and for how long."
2. "All dogs go to heaven"
3. "I thought about that magnet you used to have that said, 'Just when the caterpillar thought his life was over, he became a butterfly.'"

I don't know how or IF that even speaks to you but it sure did to us.

Bo Wilson, goodbye for now, sweet pup. I hope you got your wings yesterday!

There's a really sweet GOD out there who knows and cares when a sparrow falls to the earth.

I'm so glad I know Him!

A Short Summation of my Life

The simple testimony of one BFI in a nutshell:
I am not a particularly ambitious person...I just want to love Jesus with all out, complete, crazy abandonment!

I have no desire for self promotion, I just want to love Jesus so much that it causes other's hearts to burn with love and desire for Him.

It matters not in the very least How He uses my life; whether alone on my knees or in some public way, I just want to promote the growth of a Kingdom of people who love Him with every fiber of their being.

It doesn't matter how much I know; it only matters that all I do know of Him, I love immensely!

It doesn't matter what He asks me to do, as long as He lives brightly in the depths of my heart!

I love Him so very, very much now, but I am painfully aware of how much more I COULD love Him!

This is what I live for! To know Him more and love Him supremely! This is my all consuming ambition and THIS is the summation of my life!

Wait! I Have a Plan!

JUNE 10, 2016 

Many years ago, after having had one very precious son, and having experienced a very emotionally painful miscarriage, Blake and I prayed one night that the Lord might give us another son. His answer to us was, “Wait. I have a plan!” And so, reluctantly we waited. And soon, I conceived and gave birth to a beautiful, charming son with stars in his eyes! And we were so glad that God asked us to wait for THIS child!! For he was the happiest, most captivating little soul, bringing us so much delight, laughter, smiles, and joy!

But then it seems that at about 8 months old God said, “Wait! I have a plan!” And that’s when God decided to infuse into this child a will stronger than iron and a spirit that cried, “Go forth to conquer all!” The extreme measure of both his charm and his mischief caused me to cry out in anguish, “Please tell me Oh God that you did not choose me to be the mother of the Antichrist!” One minute he was hiding under cars playing with matches that I would swear to you did not exist in the house, and the next he was gazing into my eyes, caressing my face, saying thoughtfully and tenderly, “Mama, You’s my queen!” I wrote in my journal that it was a very good thing that this child was so charming or I would surely have sent him back to wherever he came from!!! But God said, “Wait, I have a plan.”

And so we waited as the smiles and charm, together with the strong will to conquer were fused and channeled. And we watched as a man emerged from this child, full of strength, determination, purpose, integrity, character, and undeterred tenacity.

And we were glad we waited instead of putting him back!

He soon grew into a 6’4”, 250 lb. tight end with a vision to assist the AU Tigers in conquering the Bama Elephants and every other team in the nation. And God said, “Okay!”

And so, donning his championship ring, he reached the threshold of his dream to show the world what he could do as an AU Tiger.

But God said, “Wait! I have a plan!” And God infused into him a higher and nobler vision and required him to strip himself of the temporary glory of being a beloved football player for his favorite team on earth for the cause of serving his fellow man with the healing touch of God. He was asked to die to his former dream and to live to God’s. Few will ever know the heart of obedience that was required to lay down a dream that had burned in him since childhood. And yet...as obedience won out, the former passion was abundantly replaced with a more solid and enduring passion; to be and do what God had ordained for him.

And so, with his face set like flint, the young man set out to follow the vision and conquer the world of academia. And conquer he did! But it seemed too late, for the schools of medicine were reluctant to take him in. And once more, God said, “Wait! I have a plan!”

So we all waited as his own iron will, indeed his very person was melted down to become soft and pliable and ready for the Potter’s hand. As humility, gentleness, submission, and dependence on the One with the plan were being seared into his being, he continued to study, to teach other students at the university, to pray, and to trust.

Many told him to give up the vision, to teach, to follow a different path. (Did they know who they were talking to??? “Give up”??? to the man whose will is made of iron???) No, he knew that the vision had been implanted within his soul by a greater force than his own mind! And so, he waited. “My confidence is in the Lord,” he said.

Some time before finishing a Master’s Degreee in Bio-Medical Science, he was again denied to the School of Medicine for the 5th time. And once again, God said, “Wait! I have a plan!” And God sent a former AU All-American, NFL star turned physician to hire him to assist in his orthopaedic practice where he would be mentored by the best; where he learned to run a medical office efficiently; where he learned to walk in the shoes of a staff member in a medical practice; where he acquired personal skills that can never be learned in a classroom; where he made friendships that will last a lifetime; where a love for orthopedics grew within him, and most importantly where he met and fell in love with a beautiful young woman who would become his wife.

Yes, God’s “waits” are full of wisdom!

Today, after many years of waiting, working, sacrificing, praying, trusting, humbling himself, and working some more, he is sitting at this moment in a classroom at UAB School of Medicine! Today, God has said, “The wait is over. You have excelled in the classroom of life, now enter into the school of knowledge.”

This wait is over, but if I had my guess, it will not be the last! Oh no! The story of our son’s life has only just begun today.

The full plan is yet to be seen as to what will become of the man who has learned to patiently wait on the Lord. But this we know: ‘They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength! They will mount up with wings as EAGLES!” And for an AU Tiger, it just doesn’t get any better than that!!

Fly high, my son! And may the wind be always beneath your wings!

Written by: Bonnie Isbell

July 30,2012

Addendum: Today, March 17, 2016, Jon Isbell and Callie Wiginton Isbell will attend an Alpha Omega Alpha dinner where he will be honored for having received the highest honor a Med School student can achieve. He knows where all the glory belongs and we are all careful to lay it down at the feet of the One whose plans are always perfect! May his story inspire so many others to wait on the Lord, to trust in Him, and to place their confidence in His plan!

“We can make our plans, but THE LORD determines our steps.” Proverbs 16:9