SIXTY YEARS OF ENOUGH

September 20, 2018

Today I started my 7th decade, as my dear man reminded me. Thanks a lot for that, my love! 😕 WOW! What a journey it’s been! 60 years!

The months leading up to this day have been the hardest of all my anticipated birthday’s! Good flippin grief....

I dreaded it!!!!

I’ve never been real good with change...
But this change...THIS is a milestone if ever there was one.

I always tend to cry a little about milestones, whether good or bad, do you? They are just a turning of the page, the beginning of a new chapter, leaving the last one behind.......
and that’s just hard on a heart!

I suppose I’ve sort of hung on for dear life to middle age for as long as one can, even if I was on the very back end of it...
As a dirty old man once said, “People don’t live to be 120!”

Gonna have to let that illusion go, girl!
Cause we’re talking “SENIOR” now! I AM A SENIOR CITIZEN, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
How on God’s green earth that happened so fast, I DO NOT KNOW!

So....one day when I was driving and musing on what’s coming, a thought comes to me....
“Well, Bonnie....What age would you like to go back to?”
Didn’t even have to think about it....
OH HECK NO!!! I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK!! PLEASE NO!!!

Since then, I’ve been trying to figure out WHY NOT?

So I had a little talk with Blake about it last night. He’s always so good at helping me put reason to my feelings.

He said, “Most every stage of our lives, especially our adult lives, is HARD! It’s like we’ve pushed a boulder up a mountain. Old age is getting it almost to the top. Letting it slide back down and doing it all over again....WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO DO THAT?”

Yes, you can be jealous that I have such a smart man...but sorry....he’s stuck on me like glue.

And then You spoke to me, Lord, and You reminded me that Your Word constantly refers to life as a race.

“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”

“They will run and not be weary.”

“I run the path of Your commands.”

“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run but only one receives the prize? Therefore run like you want to win.”

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

YEP! I’ve run a loooong way now! I don’t wanta start over!

So I reminisced over each lap...

The first leg of my race started out difficult to put it mildly.

I wouldn’t change those childhood years for anything on this earth because they helped to shape my heart and purpose into what it was meant to be...

But nope....Don’t want to relive it!

You were my Daddy then.
AND YOU WERE ENOUGH!

My teenage years were pretty darn sweet in so many ways-Still so tumultuous at home but You, Lord, gave me so many people to fill the gaps....
Jimmy Gunter,
Deanna Bennett,
John Thompson,
And friends, Lord, who are still some of my very best friends to this day....
All who loved me like nobody’s business, who believed in me and urged me onward.
And THERE WAS YOU, LORD...YOU WERE THERE;
My Provider,
My friend,
My stability...
AND YOU WERE ENOUGH!

I cherish those memories and those people but,shoot NO!  I would not want to stay there in that season.....
because there was SO MUCH MORE to come!

OH! The college years!! Those were fun and crazy and somewhere in the process, I actually learned something that would prepare me for my calling to teach...

Tight friendships were forged there that remain my treasures to this day.
There was ‘Doc’ Richardson who taught me, loved me, believed in me, fussed at me, and sharpened me....
Ohhh the memories!

And there was Jack. I’d never loved like that...

And I let him go...

Because You said so! No other reason.

That was a defining moment for me...

I knew then that I truly loved YOU more than I loved anyone; more than I loved myself.

And right there....was YOU!

You were my portion,
You were my everything,
You were my Love;
My Sustainer.
AND YOU WERE ENOUGH!

But, Lord, NO!! I don’t want a redo of that!

There were the early years of marriage...
Let me just say, thank GOD those are behind us; and thank GOD they eventually got better!

You were my husband then.
AND YOU WERE ENOUGH!

And the baby years!!!
OHHHHH!!! Sweetest years of my life....
I was alone then....so very alone!

Except that You were there. You were my cheerleader then.
AND YOU WERE ENOUGH!

Like sand that ran through my fingers, before I could get a grasp, the kids had grown up and left home.

And BAM! THEY STARTED REPRODUCING LIKE RABBITS!

I’m still trying to decide if I loved them as much as I love the little “thems” that they and You created.
Oh Lord!!! Surely THIS must be the sweetest season of my life!!

OF COURSE I WOULD NOT GO BACK! HECK NO!!
In this season of my life, You are my Rewarder!!
AND YOU ARE DARN SURE ENOUGH!!

“Adulting” IS a race!

Today....I realize that if I keep running, there won’t be a whole lot more laps to run until I can see the finish line!
I’m SO EXCITED for the rest of the journey!
Let’s do this last leg FULL THROTTLE!
Because in just a few more rounds, the race will be over, I will run into Your arms....

And I’ll be HOME!

And I will know with all my heart...
That through EVERY season...
YOU WERE WORTH IT!

YOU ARE NOW,
YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN,
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE....

ENOUGH!

The Horse and the Cart

If I could only have taught my kids and grandkids ONE thing in their entire lives, I think it would be this...

Jeremiah 9:23-24
"This is what the LORD says: 'Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to KNOW ME...’”

What if the grade we will receive from God is based:

NOT on our church attendance
NOT on how passionately and uprightly and excellently we did what we've been created to do
NOT on how many mission trips we went on or our service in the church
NOT on how friendly we are to all people
NOT on how much money we give to the church or others
NOT on all the kind things we did for others
NOT on how morally we lived
NOT on how well we knew the Bible
NOT on how much we did to serve and better our community
NOT on what kind of spouse or parent we are
NOT on the number of ways we reached out to the less fortunate
NOT on how well respected we are

But on this:
The importance we placed on KNOWING Him...Intimately!

Contrary to popular opinion, He didn't die to make us nice people.

He didn't die to get Himself some servants. He's pretty self sufficient!

HE DIED TO MAKE YOU HIS!

And as His, there's nothing that you will ever do that will please Him more than having an intimate, one on one, sweet love relationship with Him.
Closer than with any other on earth.

And there's nothing that would break His heart more than for you to do all the rest but have little to no desire to invest your life in knowing Him.

Did you know that He loves YOU more than ALL the stuff you do? He just wants YOU! He wants your heart. He wants you to become more and more responsive to the way He loves you. That thrills Him just like it thrills your heart for your children to do the same!

All that other stuff will happen...but it will happen as naturally as breathing when we deeply know Him!

ALWAYS remember this:
The horse pulls the cart...NEVER the cart before the horse!

Get this ONE thing right and see if everything else in your life doesn’t fall right into place! Cross my heart! ✝️❤️

THAT’S HOME

Twenty nine years ago, my man and I gave a notebook full of pictures and pages of ideas to an architect to design our dream home. 

We built high atop a hill surrounded by mountains and a breathtaking view on every side. We planted little willow oaks to line the long, winding driveway, and a barn to house the horses that I loved so much.

We raised our three children in this home, along with several orphaned boys.

And somewhere in the process...

Life happened....

Everything grew and aged.

The trees became a tunnel up the drive, the landscape matured, and the wall inside my kitchen pantry kept careful records year after year as some very loved little lives grew into mature adults.

These walls stored up so many memories, welcomed so many friends, hosted so many events, “heard” so many prayers and so much laughter. They felt the slap of so many dirty hands as young teenage boys competed for the #1 high jump position. 

I suppose that there’s hardly a square inch of the woods and hills surrounding our home that didn’t feel the footprints of a teenager, or the hoof prints of a horse, or the tires of a dirt bike or four wheeler. 

Five boys and one blessed little girl, together with dogs and chickens and rabbits, and who knows how many other species of God’s creatures experienced life in all its glory...

Right here...

And the years flew.

The walls hear mostly silence these days; or the sounds of the hymns that a mother loves best, and the soft conversations of the aging parents who are left here. 

But imbedded within every wall, and deep beneath every inch of soil lie the roots which have weaved their way into every fiber of our being; roots that will never die because they are and have always found their source in living water; roots that gave life and grew branches that took wings.

Yesterday, the question, “What makes you feel like you are truly home?” was posted in a very beautiful lady’s blog, along with the song, “North,” by the group, "Laughing Out Loud."

The lyrics of the last verse got a choke hold on my heart.

“Smaller than dust on this map

Lies the greatest thing we have:

The dirt in which our roots have grown

And the right to call it home.”

Yes, I suppose if one is asked what makes us feel truly home, we need only find our roots. And when we do....

THAT’S HOME....

That’s how you’ll know you are truly home. 

Are You Listening?

Bibby’s Blessings
August 10, 2018

ARE YOU LISTENING?

“From his temple he heard my voice ; my cry came before him, into his ears.” Psalm 18:6

“But they did not listen to me....” Jeremiah 7:26

How sad is that?
Hearing....
But not being heard.

I suppose it happens to God all day long every day!

Listening.....

It’s so seriously God-like! He’s so good at it! It’s a virtue that people who best reflect God are also good at!

As I meditated on these verses today, I asked myself some questions to assess why I or God or anyone else desires to be heard, and to assess my own listening skills. For how can we truly listen to a God, whom we cannot see, if we’re poor at listening to people whose voices we hear every day?

I thought I’d share these with you in case you’d like to ponder them with me:


1. How important is it to you to feel that when you speak, the person(s) you are speaking to are really hearing you? If they are not, what does this imply?
2. When others speak to you, do they feel that you are really hearing them? If not, what do you think they feel?
3. When others speak to you, do you too quickly answer back with your own ideas, your own answers, your own experiences, removing the focus from their heart to yours? Do you suppose we do that to God when He’s trying to reveal His heart to us?
4. Are you willing to genuinely take a look at yourself in this area, without assessing anyone else but yourself?

I cannot even begin to express how important it is as you raise your children to truly know God that you teach them this Godly virtue by example!

They may learn to listen to God by following the example of how you listen to God AND to others.

I plan to ask a few people, “How well do you feel that I listen when you speak?”

Then... I’m going to LISTEN to their answer...
Because...

“Being heard is so close to being loved that they are almost indistinguishable.”  David Augsburger

The Search is Over

Bibby's Blessings
Sept. 3, 2017

Jesus told the woman at the well,
"... whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

My beloved ones! Today I have been reminded of the truth of this in a way that has nearly exploded my heart with humble, almost earth shattering praise!

I listened to a sermon by a young man who is a living, breathing testament of this truth; someone you knew before his search led him to Jesus, the "Living Water", and someone you know now, whose life has been FOREVER changed!

I began to weep from the innermost parts of my soul when he prayed, "Your Word is truth."

I wept because it wasn't so long ago when this man was so parched with thirst for truth! And his search was real and it was determined and it seemed to be almost all he could think of!

I wept for this reason:

HE HAS FOUND IT!
And I wept because I knew....

HIS SEARCH IS OVER!!!!

I wept because I know....
HE WILL NEVER THIRST AGAIN!!!!

I know because our source of  "water" comes from the same fountain and every soul that drinks from it is satisfied, never to thirst again! They will be satisfied by Jesus for the rest of their lives and for eternity!

....Every time!!!

Do y'all remember Marty? I met him in 5th grade and by that time, my whole heart belonged to Jesus.

Many years later, when David Rainey died, Marty called me to tell me that David was gone. I don't remember our conversation much but I must have said something about the Lord because I do remember what Marty said to me in his deep, gentleman's southern drawl: "You neva change. I believe that if I call you in fiftae yeeas, you will still be the same Bonneh."

And Marty was right! He was right because I have drunk deeply from a fountain that has become in me a spring of ETERNAL LIFE! My feet were and are firmly and eternally planted on a Rock that will not be moved. HE will "neva change!"

My search ended as a little girl in the corner of a bedroom where Jesus met me.

Others search all their lives, and though they have heard of this fountain, it is too risky to drink of it.

This is the "water" that the whole world is searching for, though they may not know it.

Be still and quiet and drink deeply and often of Him, my children!

The search is over...
And we will never thirst again!


"He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, 'From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.'" John 7:38

Somebody’s Looking for You

Bibby’s Blessings

"Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Phil. 4:9

Today, as I've been pouring my heart out to the Lord for you and my babies, I asked that God would place extraordinary people in your paths; people who are older, deeper, wiser, more knowledgeable, passionate, zealous, balanced, sensible, God fearing, outstanding Christians; people who have walked a long, hard, narrow road with Him; people who know Him well and hear Him accurately; people who have died to self and LIVE for Him because their hearts have been completely captured by Him.

It dawns on me that there are precious few of those kind in this world; people who are just clearly "other" than most; who are able with intestinal fortitude to stand alone with humility, yet confidently; who do not follow a moral code, but follow a living LORD who is clearly dictating their lives.

So, my beloved ones, if you find yourselves at a loss for spotting people who are these things 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻, in a world full of middle of the road, lukewarm, "not sure if he is or isn't" a  distinctly "one thing matters" Jesus follower...


BE ONE!!

Somebody's out there looking for YOU!
Somebody out there may never know what a sold out Christ follower looks like unless they spot it in YOU!!

A Marked Man

Bibby's Blessings: June 15, 2017

Solomon found himself in a frightening position! His father, David had died and suddenly the responsibility for governing God's people fell squarely on his shoulders. Bless him!

So he prayed a desperate prayer...

"Give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong." 1 Kings 3:9

The world's always had this crazy way of desiring to create our own right and wrong on the fly...

Yea....we're like toddlers who like to "do it my way";

...to create a standard that complies with MY desires and then if we just call it God's, all is well...

We will call good evil and evil, we will call good if it gets things done "my way."

But God has given His people something that astounds me, really;

A discerning heart;

The ability to discern HIS standard. It might not be what we want it to be, but it's spot on!

It isn't iffy.

It does not pick and choose.

It's straight up, universally the same for all people, for all time.

Now...

Fast forward a lot of years....

In the book of Ezekiel, we find an enormously sobering command given by God:
"Go through the midst of the city...and put a mark on the forehead of those who sigh and groan over all the abominations being committed."

Apparently some were grieved and others didn't give a rip what was happening to their society...

"To each his own" was their motto.

And then....

The command was to strike down all who did not have the mark; the ones who lived by that motto; ☝🏻

The ones whose hearts were not grieved with God.

"...But....

do not touch any man on whom is the mark."

Now get this....

"......And start in my sanctuary." (Ez. 9: 4-6)

Whoa!

There were those in that day and there are those in this day whose claim is to belong to the household of God....

But not everyone who makes the claim truly is....

Oh how this should give us pause!

May we not merely claim to belong in the household of God, but may we be "marked" as those who share His heart;

who rejoice in what thrills Him and who grieve over what grieves Him.

I give you my heart, oh God, that I may lose it for Yours.

If the command were given today, would you be a "marked" man?